During the course of this last month, Justin and I have had an earnest heart to live completely sold out for our Lord. We have such a heart for all the lost souls in the Marine Corps. We (especially me) aren't ones to boldly come out and question people's faith. Justin and I firmly believe by just living our lives as above reproach as we possibly can is going to be a bigger witness than anything we say.
There have been specific instances in my life over the course of the last 3.5 years (and my whole life for that matter) that I have made very poor decisions and have dealt with things that were in a way, not Christ-like. I tend to have a bad attitude and get all defensive. Justin has been a huge encouragement to me because he is totally opposite! He is a go with the flow, mellow, easy to please person. I have learned so much through those specific instances because of his positive attitude.
Recently, my heart has changed. Don't get me wrong I still daily struggle with having the right attitude and making wiser choices in how I'll react to situations, but I feel as though God is redeeming me of that stronghold and is allowing me to remember when I did fail to encourage me.
The Apostle Paul is someone who I long to be like. His complete faith in my Heavenly Father is one most people look up too. His desire to reach his own people (Jews) and the sorrow that fills his heart because of their lack in faith is something I admire. Paul's sorrow was so profound that he tells Christ in Romans 9:1-3, He would give his place in heaven if it would means the Jews would confess their sins and accept Him as their Lord and Savior.
Moses also had the same sorrow when the children of Israel were worshiping the golden calf. Exodus 32:32 says, "Yet now, if You will forgive their sins--but if not, I pray, blot me out of Your book which You have written."
Obviously, it is not possible to give up your place in heaven, but to have such pain and sorrow for someone to be saved is totally amazing.
My heart is filled with sorrow for the non-believers, but certainly not to the point of Paul or Moses'.
I am in awe of how when I pray for my enemies(Enemies in my opinion here is one who has hurt me, doesn't know Christ, or doesn't see eye to eye with me) , God can change my heart from hurt and pain to such love and grace
I am reminded to be prayed up. Spend the alone time with God. I need to be daily speaking, praying, listening, and waiting upon the Lord.
Once I have accomplished that, I need to take the step of faith and to be bold.
Being bold in my faith doesn't mean that I try to cram Jesus down the throats of everyone that I come in contact with, but instead it is trying to build a bridge for them to get to Jesus. Listening and extending grace then looking for that open door to share the Gospel.
I want to be an example to those closest to me of how great my God is. How He sustains the entire universe in the palm of His hand. How He is in absolute control. How He is approachable. How He is the giver and maker of life.
God desires to take me and you deeper, higher, and wider with him. I just need to be willing.
I need to let go of my selfishness. I need live by the Spirit and not by the flesh. To make sacrifices (tv, computer, movies, magazines, music) and dwell on things of The Lord.
I realize that there will be some that reject God. It's talked about all through the Word. There are those who will delay their acceptance of Christ, and those who do accept Him. By simply preaching and living God's Word, simply I will be able to engage in dialogue with the non-believer. Patiently demonstrating that God's Word is proven time and time again.
I want my only regret to be that I didn't live sold out enough for The Lord.